panerai luminor 1950. aka the "fiddy".

just slip out the back, bo
make a new plan, bo
you don't need to be coy, bo
hop on the bus, bo
just drop off the key, bo
and get yourself free.

i went to the garden of love,
and saw what i never had seen:
a chapel was built in the midst,
where i used to play on the green.

and the gates of this chapel were shut,
and "thou shalt not" writ over the door;
so i turned to the garden of love,
that so many sweet flowers bore;

and i saw it was filled with graves,
and tombstones where flowers should be;
and priests in black gowns were walking their rounds,
and binding with briers my joys and desires.

- william blake

can you remember where you were when the towers came down? i can.

never forget.

allow me a bit of melodrama, as it seems to be the only bloody thing left to me. i'm just tired, sick to ever-loving death of everything, or the lack thereof.

i've always loved this song. the poster? not so much. i get more from the tiny gif i ripped from some poor south american sot's blog than i ever did from famous dead people sipping joe in an imaginary cafe on the road to hell. maybe that's where the road leads. maybe i'm there already.

maybe i've no idea about anything anymore.

the old proverb says not to build a house on sand. beware what looks to be rock. i think the world has moved on, or is about too. i dream too much of late, and find myself wishing i could go todash to a place far away, a place where i am as hard as childe Roland and his sandalwood-handled friends, striding across a desert in search of the man in black, and his precious accursed tower.

perhaps i am the man in black. what if all this is just a bend 'o' the rainbow, a wizard's glass, a bauble, and i'm dreaming someone else's dream. what if it's all just a nightmare?

i wanted the carrot so much that i didn't see the stick, didn't feel it until it broke me open and all the candy spilled out.

anyhow. lazies and germs, i give you green day:

"i walk a lonely road
the only one that i have ever known
don't know where it goes
but it's home to me and i walk alone

i walk this empty street
on the boulevard of broken dreams
where the city sleeps
and i'm the only one and i walk alone

my shadow's the only one that walks beside me
my shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
sometimes i wish someone out there will find me
'til then i walk alone

i'm walking down the line
that divides me somewhere in my mind
on the border line
of the edge and where i walk alone

read between the lines
what's f*cked up and everything's alright
check my vital signs
to know i'm still alive and i walk alone

my shadow's the only one that walks beside me
my shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
sometimes i wish someone out there will find me
'til then i walk alone

i walk this empty street
on the boulevard of broken dreams
where the city sleeps
and i'm the only one and i walk a...

my shadow's the only one that walks beside me
my shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
sometimes i wish someone out there will find me
'til then i walk alone..."