i've arrived in pordenone, italia - settled into the hotel, taken a long and very hot shower, called home, and put up pictures. it doesn't feel like home, it isn't home - thats far far away, and with my heart, but at least the journey is over. more later...

"today i begin to understand what love must be. when we are parted, we each feel the lack of the other half of ourselves. we are incomplete like a book in two volumes of which the first has been lost. that is what i imagine love to be: incompleteness in absence."

~ edmond and jules de goncourt

today was the day - i'm left all that i love behind; mi novia, my daughter, my family, my heart, my heart, my home, and headed out to san francisco, got on a plane and headed to frankfurt, germany, then italy. it was a real heartbreaker - i didn't have a choice, and had i the choice, i'd have stayed behind. given the "no-win" scenario of another aef rotation, italy beats turkey and some of the other places that i could have gone.

rose and i left for the airport at 1230l, and for the last time in a long while she put her head in my lap and napped peacefully. kinda hard to drive the truck and fight back the emotions that flooded through me - leaving was the hardest thing i've ever done. ever.

i miss you and love you all.

after so long and dark a time driving a true hunk of junk (albeit a wonderfully reliable and dependable hunk), there is a new vehicle in my life. behold:



not too shabby, eh?

i miss the look of surrender in your eyes
the way your soft brown hair would fall
i miss the power of your kiss when we made love
oh but baby most of all
i miss my friend.

the one my heart and soul confided in
the one i felt the safest with
the one who knew just what to say
to make me laugh again
and let the light back in
i miss my friend.

i miss the colors that you brought into my life
your golden smile, those blue-green eyes
and i miss your gentle voice in lonely times like now
saying it'll be alright
i miss my friend.

the one my heart and soul confided in
the one i felt the safest with
the one who knew just what to say
to make me laugh again
and let the light back in
i miss my friend.

i miss those times
i miss those nights
i even miss our silly fights
the making up
the morning talks
and those late afternoon walks
i miss my friend.

the one my heart and soul confided in
the one i felt the safest with
the one who knew just what to say
to make me laugh again
and let the light back in
i miss my friend.

i miss my friend.
i miss my friend.
i miss my friend.

- darryl worley

stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
silence the pianos and with muffled drum
bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
scribbling on the sky the message he is dead,
put crêpe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

he was my north, my south, my east and west,
my working week and my sunday rest,
my noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
i thought that love would last for ever: i was wrong.

the stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
for nothing now can ever come to any good.

- wh auden